NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 30 "Not really the end"

It's now officially the end of November, in most parts of the world, and thus technically the end of NaBloPoMo. I have SEVEN partially finished blog drafts in my account, however, and I plan on finishing them up as I have time, and posting them retroactively.

I hate that I didn't "complete" the challenges I set out, but I'm not being too hard on myself, because GOOD GRIEF I had a lot to do this month! :D

Thanks to those of you who've been following and reading and encouraging me as I write. I can't remember now how I ever imagined that I would have time for this project this month.... "What was I thinking??"

Squats: I am going to jump back on the squats wagon for December!
Splits: I'm letting go of this goal for now. ㅠㅠ
Books: I'm so close to done with Dubliners! I'm on the last (longest) story, "The Dead" with only 30 pages to go. It's been a mixed bag for me: some of them really touched nerves, and some of them felt empty. I really do think it would make a glorious difference to have it read/heard in an Irish accent.
Water: Drinking more water is a lifestyle change I want to hang on to, so I'm going to keep at it, til death do us part. :)

CARPE DIEM, FRIENDS.

p.s. stay posted! my post-NaBloPoMo posts will be posted poste-haste! ;)

NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 22 "Cabaret Crazed"

Tonight, tonight, tonight!

It was Cabaret Night - and it was everything I dreamed it would be. (Almost perfect, close enough!)

We raised millions of won in funds, (!!!) served a 3-course dessert menu with wine, and sang and danced our hearts out.

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves:

CROWDZZZ

Over 100 ppl...

"Cry Me A River"

"When You're Good To Mama" as a duet

"All I Care About Is Love" - I'm in the top left corner ;), Adam's face is bottom right

Glamorous Songstresses

"Cell Block Tango" gang - I'm the blonde Hungarian Hunyak

"Uh-uh"

"He had it comin'..."

"It was a murder, but not a crime!"

"We Both Reached For The Gun" - me as puppet Roxie Hart, Adam as Billy Flynn

"Oh yes oh yes oh yes they both..."

"Money Makes The World Go Around" - from Cabaret

Lisa as Liza and me as Joel Gray

My favorite - Pulling money from our brassieres and working hard for the won

"Money money money money..."

Us, shimmying thru the crowd collecting money and banging a cowbell every time we got a bill

GPP President's thank you speech

La Presidentia

"All That Jazz" FINALE!

It was over too soon, and not nearly soon enough!

Waiting to go on

Photo booth fun with "Mona Lipschitz" from Cell Block Tango (aka, Boipelo!)

My two Jeongs: Sujeong and Hyojeong

BEST FASCINATOR OF THE NIGHT AWARD, goes to Stephanie, my coworker

The gorgeous hosts and Cabaret Directors! Heather & Julien

Billy Flynn with some ladies ;)

Pre-creepy make-up

Being attacked by a loveable Hyo Monster

Heart lips! Scary eyes! Goodnight everyone!

Enough. Bed beckons alluringly.

CARPE CABARET, forever and ever.

SQUATS: No
SPLITS: No
BOOKS: No
WATER: Yes

NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 21 "I'm back!"

Finally! F I N A L L Y...

I'm feeling better. I'm making bloggy-blogging happen. I'm back on the Squats n Splits n Books train, and building up steam slowly. 

I'm so relieved. Missing days was really quite sad for me - I'd been looking forward to this month and these challenges, and it made me SANGRY that was failing (see this post for my real thoughts on personal failure).

Just in time, I'm BACK.

Tomorrow is the Cabaret night, and I'm trying really hard to not be overwhelmed by all the things I'm doing & preparing.

I'm not the only one, either: there is a slew of people running around like headless, confused chickens as we make sure we're prepared to feed and entertain over 100 eager guests. Oh, and seat them. Turns out chairs are important, too. O.o

Imma get back to doing ALL THE THINGS: tonight this includes cutting cheeses, welcoming our buddy Frank to Gwangju, shaving my furry legs, hoping furiously that my costume arrives tomorrow, and attempting to sleep. ...Not in that exact order, either.

TOMORROW'S CABARET!

CARPE DIEM!

SQUATS: I got thru 40 at work!
SPLITS: Did not do!
BOOKS: I read several pages in Dubliners!
WATER: I drank a lot of water! (and tea!)

NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 20 "And it was all yellow"

What a yellow day:

I baked lemon bars from scratch and gave myself a lemon-squeezing blister (not photographed, because, ew) - but they turned out pretty!

Carpe diem!

SQUATS: I did 20 at work

SPLITS: No...

BOOKS: Nope. :(

WATER: ...I can't even remember... O.o

NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 19 "Behind"

Oh lord. I'm so behind in this blog. And it hurts my heart a little, because I love this challenge.
But FYI, I'm still here and haven't given up. Just swimming as fast and hard as I can.

In the meantime, here's a link roundup:

- Mickey Mouse and friends reimagined as humans.

- A timely and hilarious song for those of us in the 29-31 year-old range. *language alert!

- Foxy faceplants for LOLs.

- A Frozen + Breaking Bad mashup *spoiler alert!

- A really charming short story that I love. <3 p="">
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And here are some insults with class, for those of you having a particularly hard day:

     "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."  Winston Churchhill

     "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."  Clarence Darrow

     "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."  Groucho Marx

     "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictonary."
     William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

     "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."  Mark Twain

     "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."  Oscar Wilde

     "I feel so miserable without you, It's almost like having you here."  Stephen Bishop

     "He is a self made man and worships his creator."  John Bright

     "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."  Irvin S. Cobb

     "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."  Samuel Johnson

     "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."  Paul Keating

     "He had delusions of adequacy."  Walter Kerr

     "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"  Mark Twain

     "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."  Mae West

     "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."  Oscar Wilde


Carpe diem, friends.

SQUATS: Guh, no....
SPLITS: Nope
BOOKS: A couple pages!!
WATER: Eh, did ok.

NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 18 "Motivations, Part 2"

So: while perfectionism is an old, familiar nemesis,  I've had a new adversary rear its thorny head this year.

Spotlight.
Recognition.
Admiration.
Gratitude.

I want them.

At my core, I'm doing the GPP because I love it. I love theatre and I love creating art, and I have been overwhelmingly proud of all the things we've accomplished this year, of all the things I've accomplished this year. Plus, it's an excellent chance to hone my admittedly wimpy leadership skills - and those particular social muscles are definitely getting an intense workout.

But.

Then come these sharp pangs. After the work is over...but there was no fanfare. After I've given it my all, and worked my butt off, and (usually) done more than everyone else to pull things together or make sure things go as planned. I feel hungry for someone to acknowledge my work. And not just a "thanks Anna!" or "You guys did great!" -- no, at their strongest, these pangs are for Academy Award sized GLORY. With crowds of adoring fans on their feet, shouting my name and throwing flowers and chocolate and presents at me. Statues and plaques erected in my honor, for all future Gwangjuvians to admire...

LOL.

I don't get that. Which is obviously ok. But sometimes it feels like there aren't even that many people who know how much effort I've put into this or that event. And I want to blurt it out in conversations, and shake people by the shoulders to make them care about it, and impress them with HOW IMPRESSIVE I AM WITH MY IMPRESSIVE SELF.

I keep having to pull myself up short, and reaffirm my motivations. If I'm doing these volunteer jobs for the (nonexistent) fame and for people to make me feel good about myself, then I'm doing them for the wrong reasons.

Because if I'm not willing to do it for zero recognition, then I shouldn't be doing it, period.

Because in the end, I'm a volunteer! I don't have to be doing any of this. And while I enjoy a thorough back-pat as much as the next gal, I also enjoy working with my hands, and doing a bang-up, smashing job on whatever projects I take on. And for the most part, I've done just that: By the end of this year, I'll have produced 3 major productions, directed a farce, co-created 2 resource textbooks for native teachers in Korea, and I'll have established the GPP firmly enough in the community that it won't die out after I leave.

**PAT PAT**

I'm learning & growing heaps this year, and this is part of the process. I'm proud of myself, and that'll do for now. (That'll do, Pig, that'll do....)

Carpe diem, divas.

SQUATS: NO  :(
SPLITS: NONE  :(
BOOKS: I read half a page?
WATER: I'm still doing awesome with water. Feeling mostly somewhat healed, but wary of backsliding, since I have a PERFORMANCE on Saturday. Eeep!

NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 17 "Motivations, Part 1"

I find myself having to constantly check my motivations this year, particularly regarding my volunteer activities. There's a constant struggle to satisfy both my perfectionist tendencies and my desire for recognition.

PERFECTIONISM:
I've struggled for most of my life with accepting my imperfections and failures. As a child, I sincerely wanted to be perfect, or as perfect as possible. As an adult, it still flares up.

For instance: I was in charge of printing the posters for the GPP's upcoming play, and I neglected to send one of our sponsor's logos to the poster designer. He didn't notice, and I didn't notice, until I'd already gotten the dang things all glossy and printed up. In the middle of a GPP committee meeting, I proudly brought out the posters, only to have another member point out that actually, I'd forgotten one of our biggest sponsor's logos.

In the moment, all I could hear in my head was "SCREW UP. INCOMPETENT. How could you forget that? Why are you the president again?", etc.
What actually came out of my mouth was, "Dammit. My bad, folks. Hm. I'll print small logos and affix them to the posters before hanging up any more." This was a reasonable and good solution, and everyone moved on.

But I felt shame and humiliation and anger at myself for the rest of the evening over this (ultimately small) mistake. And in the end, what good were these emotions? They were wasted energy. The issue was already resolved. People weren't whispering about my mistake behind my back and pointing and laughing. (*Though, if they were, WHO NEEDS THEM, EH?? ^_^) Friends and family didn't suddenly love me less, or think worse of me. It was just my ego: My desire to always seem in control and on top of everything and, well, perfect.

Perhaps there's always a tiny bit of self-kicking necessary to remind us to do things differently next time, but after a point, it's more harmful than helpful. (Don't ask me where the line is, 'cuz I don't know)

I've actually become pretty darn good at forgiving myself, which means that these flare ups are typically few and far between. When my motivations are clear - to do my best, to have a good time, to enjoy the results of hard work - the mistakes and screw ups are put in perspective, as part of the whole process. They don't ruin it, they build it.

Here's to all our future screw ups!

SQUATS: Nope.
SPLITS: Sorry.
BOOKS: Got nothin.
WATER: SO MUCH WATER!

EDIT: written mostly on time, posted waaaaaay late

p.s. I can't stop laughing over this gif:

NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 16 "Mawwiage"

Today was another day full of not winning at anything but drinking water. No squats, splits, nor books were accomplished today. Instead I...

- bought a clothes dryer off a friend who is leaving (goodbyeeee Amanda and Harry and Stewart!!) which means I am now the luckiest foreigner in Korea.

Proof:

It's hilariously a size-petite dryer, so I can only fit about 1 towel plus 1 sock at a time

- practiced my 3 musical numbers during the 4.5-hr-long Cabaret dress rehearsal

Proof:

Me on the far right as the Hunyak, aka "Uh-uh"

- presided over a productive meeting for the GPP Players over dinner.

Proof: ....oops. I forgot to take a pic of everyone! >:-[

- felt sick during all the above happenings, but managed to get thru them with some semblance of dignity (at least in my head, haha).

But: the best and worst part about today is that it is the wedding day of my cousin Matthew.

Mattcho and his mom, Aunt Marnell (aka, Aunt Marnie, Mommy-Not) lived with us for a while during my childhood, so he's kinda like a 4th little brother. Not so little, though! He's grown up - way, way, WAAAAAY up - and today is the day he marries his college sweetheart, Elizabeth.

I'm so very thrilled for them, but hating really hard that Adam and I aren't there to celebrate their happy day. Our jobs here don't really allow time off for cousin's weddings. :( 

So, happy wedding day, Matt and Elizabeth. Here's hoping the fistfuls of cash we're throwing your way at least partly make up for our absences! ;)

Carpe diem, lovers.

NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 15 "Mayday"

So I'm definitely sick. Spent all morning in bed, and then had to teach an English class, teach a swing dancing class, and then rehearse the Cell Block Tango with my co-stars. Tomorrow is the dress rehearsal for our Cabaret night, so fingers crossed I have energy & voice enough to wobble through.

Here's a pretty picture of the sunrise, tho:

Carpe *cough* diem...

SQUATS: none :'(

SPLITS: none :'(

BOOKS: nothin' :'(

WATER: winning! Holy crap I've drunk 5 cups of tea and huge quantities of water, plus some Sprite. Hydrated? Oh yeah.

NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 14 "SorryNotSorry"

Oh no.

It's happening.

That icky feeling in the back of my throat.

The paling appetite.

The fatigue....

I'M ON THE BRINK OF GETTING SICK AGAIN.

It can't happen. I won't let it happen. Before starting this year's challenge, I re-read all my blog posts from NaBloPoMo 2013, and I was starting to feel cocky because I was sick TWICE last November, but have been as healthy as a horse so far this month. It's true! Pride doeth go before a falleth.

Something must be done.

Health must be overtaken, with blogging violence, if need be.

Soooo I'm going to pursue my typical emergency sickness evasion maneuvers: drink buckets of liquids (check), eat whatever you want (kinda check - this IS Korea), and sleep as much as is humanly possible. Thus, I leave you, sweet readers... Sad. Bereft. But hopeful that together we will CONQUER this virus and SLAY the bacterial infections and WIN the battle for Anna's healthy body.

Let me also just take a second here to apologize to my husband for canceling date night. It's for your own good, boo. <3 p="">
 Off to bed, I go!

Carpe noctem!

SQUATS: 135, DONE. :'(
SPLITS: Did my 3:10 secs, despite the rush to bed. HA!
BOOKS: Knocked out a lot of reading today, thanks to multiple rides on public transporation, and an enforced 30 minute break of doing nothing (but reading) while I waited for the printing shop to open during my lunch break. 105/176
WATER: I did so good today. So. Good. 4 cups of tea, 2 mugs of warm water, one water bottle and a sprite.

NaBloPoMo 2014: Day 13 "Grass-fed"

For almost a whole month now, Adam and I have been making and eating salads for our weekly dinners. But here's the cool thing: we only make them ONCE. You know the annoying part about eating salads - the washing, the peeling, the chopping? I hate doing all that. It's a lot of work, it's messy, and it takes time. So we just do a week's worth of washing, peeling, and chopping all on one night, and the rest of the week take it easy.

Does it sound TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE?? It's not. Scout's honor.

I was inspired by my friend Amber's post on instagram, showing a refrigerator stuffed full of mason jar salads:

The revolutionary Instagram itself

                                  

And it turns out, when properly packed, these salads last for a week! So at the beginning of the week, Adam and I shop, and then prepare enough salad containers to last for our whole week. We vary the ingredients, using salmon, tuna, chicken, or other protein to bulk them up and keep them from getting too boring. But the staples are usually the same: homemade balsamic vinegar/olive oil dressing on bottom, carrots, cucumbers, and chick peas next, then tomatoes, egg, olives, nuts, and finally the lettuce on top.

Doesn't have to be a mason jar - any airtight container will do!

The first night of prep took almost 3 hours.... O.o

Assembly line

Stuffed salad jars!

Delicious finished product

Amazingly, we aren't sick of salads yet. (knock on wood) Though variations are really important. Especially when I sometimes eat 2 salads in one day. Don't get me wrong, though, I'm actually in heaven - I love me some nommy salads and a decent salad is super difficult to find in Korea. We'll stick to it for as long as we still enjoy it. Here's hoping it's a nice looooooooong time!

Carpe cucumber, chick pea, and carrot.

SQUATS: 130, DONE. Ack, when did the number get so high??

SPLITS: 3 mins on each leg! Boy, do joints get creaky from staying in one stretch so long...

BOOKS: I'm reading while I do my splits, now, too. Page 52/179. Progress!

WATER: The warm water helped. Will continue. Almost 2 fulls bottles today!