Resolved

Today:

Today is a good day.
I woke up rested.
I started my day by sending messages to some people I love.
I worked out to some Fitness Marshall videos (bc it's impossible to feel negative while dancing with that guy - he's hilarious).
I ate a healthy breakfast.
I took a long, hot shower.
I read some of my newest library acquisition: Alexander Hamilton, by Ron Chernow. *fist pump*
And then I got to work.

Yesterday:

Yesterday was not a great day. Nor were many of the days preceding it.
I felt overwhelmed by sadness or frustration.
I felt like my actions weren't effective or worthwhile.
I was crying at least once per day.
I was doubting my self-worth.
I wasn't feeling motivated to be active or eat right.
I was perceiving negativity where there was none.
I felt strangely alone and unloved, when I know that's not the case.

And then I saw a friend's post on Facebook asking the simple question of how her friends are dealing with staying mentally healthy while also staying up-to-date on US daily news.

And it was like being smacked in the face: "YES! That's the question I need to be asking. That's the problem I need to resolve."

Honestly, the influx of news events and emotions had become overwhelming without me quite realizing it. Despite my husband warning me multiple times about the dangers of getting sucked into the online political vortex, I didn't acknowledge that that was exactly what was happening to me. I was spending hours researching almost everything: feminism, intersectionality, the sources of news articles posted by friends, reliability of particular websites, original videos as opposed to reactionary footage, etc, etc.

Whether you're happy about what's going on in the USA right now or not, there's no doubt that there is a LOT going on. And there is even more anger and sadness and vitriol accompanying it. And whether we realize it or not, that dump truck full of negativity is having an effect on our mental health. Reading through the helpful suggestions* from the comments on my friend's above-mentioned post, I felt something positive washing through me: Resolve.

• I resolved that I am going to stay informed and up-to-date on what's happening in my country, but on my own terms and timeline. 
• I'm going to take care of myself and my loved ones first, and everything else after.
• And I'm going to combat negativity by focusing on loving the people in my life and sphere.

For me, this means I'm going to limit my political update intake to one time per day, and it will never be first thing in the morning. I'm going to get these updates not from Facebook, but from a variety of (relatively) unbiased sources, like BBC, NPR, etc. I'm also going to find actions I'm comfortable with to make on a regular basis (It took me almost 20 minutes to work up the resolve to call my senator last week, and I'm not typically shy or introverted - I just hate phone calls, period.). And even more importantly than all that, I'm going to try to stick to healthy daily routines like today's to be more productive and maintain important relationships.

*Some other great suggestions I read:
~ if you start feeling agitated in any way, take a physical step away from the computer or TV, and look at something else for a while
~ match the amount of news intake you get with some kind of positive activity, like contacting a friend or relative, donating to something you believe in, or writing letters/calling representatives/senators
~ limit the time you spend engaging in online arguments, period
~ limit the time you spend absorbing news
~ be more choosy about where you're getting news - don't just get updates from Facebook or Twitter
~ read more books!
~ get outside more
~ laugh (I'm still culturally behind, so you've probably already seen this, but I just died laughing)
~ build yourself a playlist of music that makes you happy/relaxed and turn it on as often as necessary
~ don't try to fix everything and everyone bc that's just frazzle-making

TL;DR, I felt terrible until some lovely people reminded me to take care of myself first in the face of the overwhelming negative atmosphere in the country.

Do you have any coping strategies? If not for this specific moment in history, then in general? I'd love to hear them.

Much love to Adam, Julie, Joanna, and the writer of this post for the clarity of mind I'm feeling today.

Carpe clearheadedness,

A

Endings and Beginnings

Today is a thoroughly lazy day here in Le Havre, sunny and chill, no agenda whatsoever. But it feels momentous, emotionally: it's our very last full day in Europe.

Tomorrow evening we board the freighter ship Coral and embark on a 10-day trans-Atlantic adventure, before landing in New York on the 15th of November.

It feels very final, boarding this ship. It feels like the end of our journey, and in many ways it is. Since February, we have journeyed through THIRTY countries, and after this we'll be in the USA building a business - so this is the last foreign soil under our feet for a good while. The end of our nomadic life... of staying in hostels & Airbnbs... of constantly planning for trains, planes, and ships. I'm genuinely going to miss all of that (to a degree), as well as the absence of work duties and the pleasure of expansive freedom laid at our feet.

But this is the beginning of so much, as well!:

1. We're about to experience 10 days of internet-less existing: days to mentally prepare for reverse culture shock after almost 5 years living abroad. Days to compose our reflections from the past 9 months and write them down with pen and paper. Hours to fill exercising, planning, star-gazing, conversing with captain/crew/co-travelers, and being blissfully unaware of American politics.* At least, that's what we're imagining! I'll be sure to write a full post of our trip after the fact, full of legitimate details.

*We didn't plan it this way, but I'm fervently grateful that we'll be literally in the middle of an ocean on Election Day. We voted from abroad a week ago so we've done our part, and when we land in NY on the 15th, 'Murica will have a new president. From our cozy cocoon of cargo crates, I plan on not 
worrying about the fate of my country for hours on end.

2. We have family and friends waiting in NYC, NY state, CO, and Atlanta that we're eager to see and spend time with again. The traveling doesn't really end until December 20th, which means we have an entire month+ ahead of us as nomads, still! This return to the USA is the beginning of renewed relationships and in-person hugs, which are my favorite.

3. And the most exciting and terrifying of all, this is the beginning of our next stage of life as we approach business ownership. We have a lot of work ahead of us, currently fueled by dreams and studies and plans and earl grey tea, but I am ready for it.

Leaving Europe will be bittersweet, but far more sweet with the prospects ahead of us.

Before I sign off for two weeks, I have one little gift for my mom. You asked for a photo of
Carcassonne, but I may have gotten a little carried away. ;) Let's go there together someday!

(http://youtu.be/F2rREMbazkkp)

Carpe cargo voyages,

Anna

P.S. Just want to throw out a thank you to all of you for reading through this. I hope you're enjoying this adventure even half as much as we are! ^_^