That about sums up my life in one, stuttering word. Which is quite apt, really, considering that the changes I've been trying to implement in my life are happening in fits and starts. 2013 marks the first year of my life where I've even felt the NEED to make New Year's resolutions, let alone actually follow through on them.
Turns out, the reason people usually give up on resolutions after a couple months is because changing yourself is hard. At least, it's been hard for me. I chose some specific goals like, "doing work at work," "staying on top of emails and extracurricular duties" and "eating healthier meals," etc. The motto of my goals can be condensed in one word: Productivity. If I assess my progress honestly, it's depressing. After 6 months, I'm not doing any of those goals regularly or successfully, nor do I feel significantly more productive than before. But I haven't given up yet, and I think it's because of a couple things:
1) there are teeny tiny changes I've successfully made that give me hope for the bigger ones
2) I've found ways to gametize and incentivise my habit-changing - meaning, I've found some actual bits of fun in the process. Huge props go to SuperBetter.com for first inspiring me, and even more to Lift.com for making the habits happen on a daily basis.
3) being a member of a group of similarly-minded folks on Facebook who've got their own goals and struggles. We encourage and share with each other as we push through our triumphs and defeats. It's nice to have companions in what can sometimes seem like a fruitless, teeth-gnashingly-slow undertaking.
So, referring back to #1 up there, I'm going to use this blog as a Change Tracker. I'm going to (try to) mention each change I make successfully, and then the plan is for me to feel really good about myself every time I look at my past posts.
Here's hoping I can motivate not only myself, but some of you reading this as well! Onwards and forwards, comrades!
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| A boy, a book, a beach |
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| "Spirit of Jeju" |
